I am sitting here on Saturday night at nearly midnight, glass of sauvignon blanc now empty and the air conditioning set to "refreeze polar ice caps". I have taken down my hair and am yet to remove my makeup.
Yes, Constance is in the house, again.
We have had a break since the Fortnight that Ate all My Energy - the last week of November, first week of December 2014. But, when I got an email just over a week before Burlesque Baby's March show asking if I could be Emcee, I had typed YES and pressed Send before I realised what I was agreeing to!
Emceeing is easier and harder than performing. Easier because you really can just make it up as you go along, in fact it is a necessity as unless you know all the performers well, it's pretty much impossible to finalise their intros until the night of the show. Harder because there is SO much stage time to fill up. Oh, and then if you're a maddo like me, you decide less than 24 hours before hand to add another song. To the one you've already decided to rewrite. So yes, I make sure I am also performing, thus making it mostly harder.
Yes. That is how I roll.
So, I wanted a really good intro number - something I can use again if it works out. Like the Willkomen to Cabaret from, er, Cabaret. Only not spine-chillingly creepy like that one. So, I settled on the really rather terrible song Cher sings in the movie Burlesque. Only I had to put the blue pencil through pretty much all of the lyrics except the line Welcome to Burlesque. Because, a song that basically says, "Pay us money and you can have whatever you like," is NOT a song about Burlesque, it is a song about negotiable virtue. Just sayin'. But then again, the movie isn't about Burlesque anyway.
Why is this not Burlesque? Well, there's no diversity, for a start- while pretty, slim, petite women do perform and are very welcome, they are no more represented than all the other permutations of human form. Also, nobody gets their kit off in the movie. That's kind of a big part of it too. And, there's virtually no connection between the performers and either the audience on the film or watching it. This most definitely is not how we do it these days! So,
they turned Burlesque into a commodity for the male gaze, slap implications that the dancers are all tarts to boot, and yay! Family Friendly! ? ! Exactly. Good work Hollywood, you twisted weirdo.
BUT I DIGRESS.
Then yesterday I think, "Hmm, sing a song to open the second half. Go on". I thought hard about doing "I'm Tired", but it's a logistical nightmare, then I thought hey, I could haul out an old party piece! So, Longjohn Blues it was. Which I did not realise was in that movie too. Good grief. Luckily the version was so forgettable I don't think anyone else remembered it being in that movie either. Which is quite an achievement for such a fantastic number.
I think I can confidently say that my performance was not as forgettable.
My other challenge is that I had my hair cut to shoulder length a while back, thinking I wasn't performing until later in the year so no probs. Hmm. CC's up do rather relies on enough length to get up and over the ginormous ratt atop my head. So, I went asymmetrical - hair up and over in one direction only and big curly headpiece and flowers on the other.
The show was a sell out - standing room only. They loved CC - the producer told me she had had lots of positive feedback and people telling her to book me again. Yeeha!! I pointed out that the audience is always right!
All this and no photos. I don't think we got videoed but a photographer was running around so who knows. If I see any good 'uns I'll post them. (update: A group photo came through on Facebook this morning which I've popped in below)
Still waiting for video of my stand up gig, hoping some photos will come from last night. I will share all with you.
For now, I am going to patiently brush all the teasing out of my poor hair, tidy up the carnage of my makeup table (aka the dining table) and get back to being Mrs Made on Marion :)
Source Us - back left to right: Constance, Courtney L'Amour (producer and all round fab lady!) Lady Sane, Carina, Missie Martini, Ellie Kat, Valerie Vendetta, Lola Lipizzaner. Front Row: Moxie Fizz, Vermillion Vulpine, Little Bastet. A great group of gals!
